What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
