His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize