Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
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