When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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