Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
