i barfeds in our rink
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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