Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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