Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
