I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
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He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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