OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize