I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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