she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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