she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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