Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
