Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
