we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
