OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Are my feet made of real feet?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?