she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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