You just made me feel so damn special
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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