your parents love me but you hate me
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer