I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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