Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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