Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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