Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
