also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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