Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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