so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
