LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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