im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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