She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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