My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
