I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
