This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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