It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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