jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
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She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
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Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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