Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
