By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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