I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
