She announced her abortion via fbk
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
