I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize