are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
