There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize