Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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