By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
