mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
