It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
