Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
