I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
