just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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