I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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