May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It's blow job season.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
