it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize